I used to work in a nightclub 4 nights a week. Saw some sights, you’ve all been to one. One time at the bar I saw a girl react in the way a rightly horrified member of society would if someone had grabbed their ass. I saw the leering perp behind having a good old laugh. I tapped my buddy, a fair lump he was, and explained. He hopped right over the bar and trailed the bastard out by the hair, as I poured two shots on the house to the girl and her friend, and offered our apology. I can honestly say I have only seen one or two other instances in my tenure.
To this fact, two of my girl friends were astonished. Just about as astounded as I was at the prevalence of, lets be honest here, sexual assault on a nightly basis in our clubs. I know I’m not alone on that one, lads.
It would appear it transcends clientele, too as both have experience from the swanky spots to the plastic disasters.
My initial, and flabbergasted questions were ‘why don’t girls say to door staff or fellas?’ and ‘WHY?’
Now I want to know how we can blow it out in the open and shine a light on these scumbags. Is it a generational thing? Did this go on in previous generations and does it go on in the younger generation now?
Essentially it goes something along these lines.
It could be when passing, a leering slap on the arse, right up to groping a breast or pulling up a dress. Or, in possibly the most disgusting way of invading someone’s space, grinding on them. Or worst of all, just try and lean in to kiss you without any warning. Imagine how that could develop if the victim was any less than totally on guard or sober. What an awful way to spend a night out.
Then dancing up and around you, not taking ‘No.’ for an answer, and when finally the penny drops somewhere in the brutes’ impeded social conscience, they get offensive and aggressive, slinging insults like ‘you’re a stuck up bitch.’ or ‘fuck you, slut!’ or even more sinister, trying to dismiss it as ‘i’m only trying to have some fun’.
Often when a male does come up and chat to a girl, and then at the end they don’t get what they really came for, the girl is labelled a tease, or that she’s ‘leading them on’. What a joyous way to spend an evening. Feeling like you owe your body to conversation.
Those afflicted could well be forgiven for seeming like they’ve got resting-bitch-face by the time the shy or nerdy and not-so-sleazy fella shows up and they get the cold shoulder. Simply because the girl is now just sick of another night that could’ve been, that’s been deflated by some self entitled, sexually assaulting, lager swilling louts.
Girls when walking past a group of these beasts can expect to have their arse grabbed to cheers or jeers from the perv’s friends who’ve cajoled him into it; or to the most endearing of initial acquaintances… ‘fuck, i’d ride you’
In the worst of clubs, it is almost impossible to walk from one end of the dance floor to the other without being grabbed or rubbed against.
In spite of protest or how repeatedly the advances are doused, these reprehensible degenerates are just seen as an accepted part of a night out. That it’s the norm, because the girls have grown up with it. Strangers, who haven’t even spoken. This is nothing, but blatant sexual assault. Normal, responsible adult males should rally against this and eradicate this from our night clubs.
I’ve heard it said before from straight males who aren’t anything more than sheltered, certainly not homophobic, and haven’t been to a gay club, that they wouldn’t know how to react if they were hit on by a fella. Try being a girl every single night out. And don’t flatter yourself, Brad.
In fact, in my experience, the safest clubs have all been gay clubs, their own (society enforced) community spirit ensures this. It’s wonderful. It’s greatly encouraging to read that some of the new promoters who are making big ripples locally and internationally are taking on the seriousness of the issue and tacking it head on with the support of the venues they gig in.